This debate always centres round “should” – how long should we breastfeed for, should, should, should! Let’s free ourselves from this limited and slightly depressing question. Anything that has a SHOULD attached to it rings alarm bells. Who is to decide this very personal issue? The State (dangerous!), Medical Professionals (Orwellian), Media (brain-washing), Peers? The only person to decide this is the woman breastfeeding, surely?

The lady in question was herself breastfed till she was six. Ok, it’s maybe not something that a lot of us experience, but that doesn’t mean to say it is wrong! It is very natural to her as it was part of her childhood.

Let’s open our minds and move away from the should!

The Mama

This cover on the recent US edition of Time magazine has ignited the breastfeeding discussion once again. The child in the picture is apparently nearly 4 years old with his mother Jamie Lynne Grumet.

Would this picture generate such a reaction in India where on average children are breastfed until 2-3 years old? Is the reaction experienced in the media a cultural one? Is much of the reaction directed towards the image of a woman breastfeeding? There have been many publicised incidents, in recent times, of women being asked to cover up or stop breastfeeding in public to indicate that there are plenty people uncomfortable with sight of a breastfeeding woman.

The article the picture relates to is on attachment parenting, a form of parenting that encourages the parents to be creative in responding to their child’s needs. Time magazine have undoubtedly chosen this image to provoke reaction and debate, it is one aspect to one woman’s method of parenting. Why should we judge the choices she makes for her and her son? Our concern should be that each and every family be given the information to make the decisions that are right for them and we should not be judging them for the decisions they make, just like we should not be judging Jamie Lynne Grumet for breastfeeding her son beyond the age western society expects.

The Bella Mama Xanthe Layered Drape Top

This lovely top comes from Bella Mama, it has lovely drapes and easy access for breastfeeding, the drapes will even help hide your tummy if you’re feeling self-conscious about it.

The New Charleston Dress

In the spirit of the thirties this dress from MamaNana is a beautiful evening or special occasion dress, the floating layers hide the breastfeeding access. This dress comes in five colours and would be lovely for a summer wedding.

The Essential Nursing Dress

From Isabella Oliver, this dress is in a soft jersey fabric, dress it up with heels or dress down with pumps, as the name suggests this dress attempts to be the perfect all rounder when breastfeeding.

The Goddess Drape Top

Available online at A Beautiful Mummy, this long sleeve top has gathers flowing from the scoop neck.

Bundle Up Sporty Nursing Top

This sporty top is from Mamaway, it has an inner lining and in a recent review, the reviewer said it was “easy to use”.

Whilst researching nursing clothes I was surprised to note how many were hand wash only, if you do choose to buy some specifically designed clothes I would advise you to check the washing instructions.

Nurse-In at Savannah City Hall on 5th March 2012

It is legal to breastfeed in public but the mums say they fear they could be arrested for indecent exposure under Georgia’s current laws, so they’re fighting for stricter laws to protect their rights. The nurse-ins were reported across three news channels in the state and have succeeded in drawing attention to their situation.

These nurse-ins are part of a growing movement of mums that are no longer prepared to be made to feel uncomfortable feeding their baby in public.

Reason number two is because my baby is hungry. New mums are encouraged to get out but need to be allowed to feed their baby comfortably in public when their baby is hungry. Society has to realise that a mum is simply satisfying her baby’s need for food when she breastfeeds and nothing more. If she is unable to do this when out and about there are real dangers that new mums become almost housebound, without entering into a debate on post-natal depression, this is not a healthy situation for anyone especially someone who is dealing with major changes to her life. We are encouraging new mums to get out with their babies, we now have to ensure they are comfortable feeding their babies, when they are hungry, when they are out and in public.

Firstly I would like to introduce myself, I am Andrea and a mummy to two boys Joseph (3) and Eoin (17 weeks). As an avid fan of Mama Tea I am very excited to be asked to blog.

I have chosen to blog about support when breastfeeding, the reason being that there are many studies saying that a woman who has a little or no support network is likely to fail in her quest to breastfeed.

Regrettably with my first son this statement was very true, after a traumatic birth and a very exhausted day after, I gave into the offer of a bottle in the hospital and never looked back as a bottle feeding mum. However, this time round I was determined to give my baby a first feed from the breast (I could not imagine it any other way) and see what happens after. With all good plans this did not work out, Eoin spent his first five days in the SCBU due to low blood sugars and spent sometime in there getting fed through a tube with some expressed breast milk and high calorie formula. The most important thing to me was that he was getting my 1ml of breast milk before he got his formula and mostly this was through a tube in his nose so I did not worry too much, I had faith that I would be able to get him to latch on.

The night I gave birth to Eoin I was visited by a Breastfeeding Support Worker in my hospital room because I couldn’t get out of bed to go and visit, or be stimulated by my baby’s suckle, I was to imitate it by hand expressing and then a few days later by using a preemie pump and then five days later Eoin himself. Believe it or not making my milk come in was the easy part, the latching of the baby was the difficult part and I will not go into specifics for fear of making this blog three times longer. But the support I had with this was very important, there was a feeling that while I was in the hospital the Support Worker dropped everything and came running to help us latch on and stay latched on. There were times where I was thinking bottle…bottle…bottle… However in the back of my mind I was sure that this wasn’t the right way for us.

Cue husband, mother, mother-in-law and friends! My husband and I knew how to bottle feed, we were not sure what to do with the breastfeed and I know that Padre Gavin didn’t like taking too much of a back seat being the hands on dad that he is. I kept promising that the next feed would be easier or “lets see how the next feed goes”. Needless to say with him staying up with me to make sure I didn’t fall asleep during the night feeds, the cuddle giver and nappy changer it definitely made me feel that there was nothing I couldn’t do! My mother and mother-in-law also spurred me on with telling me that I was doing well and that I was doing the best for my child, although this may seem self indulgent here I have to say when you feel like a zombie it is nice to hear that other people think it is worth it too. There has been one friend, who I have watched breastfeed her own baby, who gave me incredible advice about those first few days and weeks where it can seem overwhelming and gave me faith that I can carry on.

So what about after those first few weeks?

Some advice that people who struggle get is to visit a breastfeeding café or support group. Now when I read this at first I thought this is just the standard get out and meet new people advice that new mums often get. How wrong was I? I visited my local breastfeeding support group when Eoin was 4 weeks old and I was struggling with the latch and cluster feeding (how do you stay awake?). There was a public health nurse, a nursing student, fifteen mums and babies all of different ages. I was given some toast and cheese with a cup of (warm) coffee; some freebies and an opportunity to chat about what was happening with us, listen to others (try to remember the advice that was given, just in case) and chat to other mums about their babies. The most important thing I took away from that day was that I would be seeing this group of ladies on a regular basis, I was able to seek advice, comfort and friendship and this made giving up breastfeeding a harder task than carrying on.

Anyone who knows me will say I love social media (Facebook, Twitter etc…) and that is correct, I found a parenting community which I have used since finding out that Eoin was on the way last March and there is a breastfeeding group on there that was fabulous when I was going through the first stages, baby’s first cold and now with another growth spurt (I got more sleep last week). I have to say this has been a great way to get honest support as the other mums on there only know my handle and not who I am.

My advice?

Take everyday as it comes, seek advice where you feel comfortable. Like all things with children don’t plan too far ahead they will change all that for you.

Initially reported in the Toronto Star on Friday 10th February, Dionne Williams was asked to stop breastfeeding or leave whilst out shopping at Urban Planet at the Dixie Outlet Mall and when she protested security was called. Mall security staff informed the store staff that they could not stop a mother breastfeeding in public. Since the incident Dionne Williams has received an apology from the parent company of Urban Planet.

Meanwhile in Nottingham a mother was asked to move to a private room whilst breastfeeding her baby. Charlotte Murray was at the Angel Row Library in Nottingham when a security guard asked her to move. The Nottingham Post reported on Tuesday 14th February other mothers gathering at the library to protest at the actions of the security guard. The city council, that runs the library, has said it is investigating and supports breastfeeding.

In the past new mothers may have discretely accepted this treatment and moved on but there are a growing number of mothers that are no longer prepared to be treated this way and are questioning our society’s acceptance of breastfeeding.

]]> http://mamabreastfeeding.com/2012/02/16/social-breastfeeding-two-more-incidents/feed/ 0 eileenmcbryde social breastfeeding http://mamabreastfeeding.com/2012/02/11/social-breastfeeding-camden-county-courthouse-nurse-in/ http://mamabreastfeeding.com/2012/02/11/social-breastfeeding-camden-county-courthouse-nurse-in/#comments Sat, 11 Feb 2012 21:01:00 +0000 Eileen McBryde http://mamabreastfeeding.com/?p=113 Continue reading →]]> Monday 5th March at 10am, Woodbine Courthouse, East 4th Street, Camden County, Georgia is the time and place for the nurse-in triggered by a church’s reaction to Nirvana Jenette’s social breastfeeding.

Nirvana Jenette with Olivia

Nirvana Jenette was breastfeeding Olivia in her church when church leaders asked her to breastfeed in her car. She felt they implied it was lewd behaviour to breastfeed in public and got the impression the church “was comparing her to a stripper” (see  News4Georgia and ActionNewsJax).

Horrified by the reaction, to a natural act for a new mum, she has decided to organise a nurse-in at the Camden County Courthouse on 5th March. The courthouse has been chosen for the nurse-in because, despite the law allowing breastfeeding in public, the law becomes ridiculous if a breastfeeding mother could be charged for public indecency.

For breastfeeding mothers the thought that feeding their babies could be related to sexual ideas is baffling and horrifying as they are carrying out a completely natural act that they believe to be the best for their baby. Social breastfeeders want to feed their babies in public and not be made to feel uncomfortable because someone deems it indecent exposure as opposed to understanding it for what it is, i.e. feeding a hungry child.

Nirvana Jenette is leading the nurse-in at Camden County courthouse for this reason. There are also plans for nurse-ins at other courthouses in Georgia on this date, there is a Facebook  page for the event with more information and where you can show your support. New mothers need our support and social breastfeeding needs to be accepted and not misunderstood.

Social Breastfeeding - Reason No. 1

This sign succinctly sums up the first reason; the law may be on the side of the nursing mother but very often business owners think it is reasonable to expect breastfeeding to take place in the toilet! Put simply no one would eat their lunch in the toilet so why expect a baby to? Mothers should not be made to feel uncomfortable feeding their baby, by breast or bottle, in environments that any member of the general public would expect to eat comfortably.

Reports indicated over forty protesting at the offices in Dublin, hardy groups of protestors braved the cold in London and Amsterdam, and in Paris the protestors got into the Facebook office!

Dublin

London

Breastfeeding mums and their supporters, in the US, turned out too, protests occurred in New York, Texas (Dallas and Austin), Seattle, Detroit and Menlo Park, Facebook HQ.

Austin, Texas

Menlo Park, Facebook HQ

Seattle

Toronto

Canada joined in too with the mothers of Toronto out showing their support for the campaign, this morning in Sydney over 60 protested and in Singapore the worldwide nurse-in concluded.

Sydney

Singapore

There are lots more photos on the Facebook page for the event. This nurse-in is an example of women around the world uniting to try to change public perceptions about breastfeeding. Social breastfeeding in action!

(More news reports for Dublin and Menlo Park.)